By Lalarukh Michael for Invisiblites
A peculiar obsession is observed among young girls: a fascination with “bad boys”. This infatuation has swept across the globe, particularly dominating the imaginations of young women. The unhealthy fixation stems from ideals subtly ingrained in their minds by contemporary culture. Young, impressionable audiences are bombarded with narratives that glorify such men – portraying them as unimaginably wealthy, irresistibly attractive, exuding a commanding aura, and fiercely devoted to the woman they desire. However, these fantasies starkly contrast with the harsh realities of life, where such romanticized traits rarely hold.
Bad Boys Attraction: Evolutionary Psychology
From an evolutionary psychology standpoint, the allure of bad boys could be tied to some deep-rooted biological instincts. Traits commonly linked to the “bad boy” persona such as dominance, confidence, and a willingness to take risks are often viewed as signs of strength and protective abilities. Such men of action are historically perceived as better protectors or more capable of making things happen and protecting their women, creating a subconscious allure for such traits.
“Bad boys” often come across as more self-assured, assertive, and independent. They tend to present themselves as self-reliant, showing little regard for societal norms or rules. On the other hand, nice guys might be perceived as too eager to please, sometimes lacking the assertiveness or emotional distance that “bad boys” naturally possess. Men realize early on that being mysterious and a little reckless gets more attention than being reliable and predictable.
Psychologists Bogaert and Fisher observed that these thrill-seeking and rebellious traits are more appealing to teenage girls who are exploring their identities and testing their boundaries. Such behavior is also ardently exciting for girls with anxious or insecure attachment styles because this unpredictable behavior mimics patterns from early attachment relationships. Furthermore, they are particularly susceptible to peer validation, and choosing a “bad boy” can signal rebellion or individuality in a social setting.
Film Noir: The Origins of Obsession
The allure of the “bad boy” archetype is far from a recent phenomenon. With movies and TV series like The Godfather, 365 Days, and Peaky Blinders, the fascination with these dangerous, morally ambiguous characters has reached unprecedented levels. This obsession extends beyond women, as men are equally captivated by them. Young men, recognizing this pattern, have begun to view ethical and morally upright heroes as outdated, while the glorification of antiheroes has gained significant traction. Being the “good guy” is an uphill battle in a world where rebellion and danger are romanticized. Consequently, many are emulating their behaviors, blurring the lines between fiction and reality.
The pervasive mafia-centric stories depict mafia characters as powerful, mysterious, and romantically irresistible, blending danger with seduction making it equally appealing for both genders. The power and mystique of Don Vito Corleone or Thomas Shelby echo the enigmatic, dangerous allure of film noir antiheroes. Film noir’s romanticized portrayal of flawed, dominant men made it acceptable – even desirable – for audiences to empathize with such characters, shaping future narratives in pop culture. Moreover, contemporary media often intensifies these qualities with added wealth, power, and romance as seen in 365 Days or Fifty Shades of Grey, while film noir tended to keep its characters more grounded in reality.
“The truth is nice guys are often overlooked in favor of the bad boys who come with a sense of danger and excitement.” — Unknown.
A toxic, dominant, and violent man is the actual man. The more predictable, stable “nice guy” is perceived as less exciting, even though such qualities are often more conducive to long-term happiness. Young women usually categorize kind men as boring and unexciting.
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Toxic: A Broader Trend in Pop culture
“Toxic” is part of a broader trend in pop culture where relationships involving “bad boys” are romanticized. This can be particularly appealing during adolescence when novelty-seeking behavior is at its peak The recurring theme that the protagonist “can’t stop” being attracted to this toxic partner reflects how these relationships are often presented as exciting or seductive, despite their damaging nature. Pop culture – through songs, films, and novels – often glamorizes the “bad boy” trope, portraying toxic behavior as part of an intense, passionate romance. “Toxic” fits into this category, suggesting that, despite the destructive nature of the relationship, there is an undeniable attraction that is difficult to resist.
The famous song by Britney Spears “Mama, I’m in Love with a Criminal” delves into the allure of the “bad boy” as well. The song talks about being entangled in the allure of forbidden love and particularly talks about all the negative consequences but sticking around because of the thrill. Britney’s other song Toxic also revolves around the same idea, emphasizing that toxic men or relationships are irresistible despite the harm they cause. Such songs particularly mirror women’s obsession with toxic partners. The “addiction” to someone who causes pain reflects how the thrill and intensity of the relationship can overshadow the consequences, which is often glamorized in films, TV shows, and media.
“I’m addicted to you / Don’t you know that you’re toxic?” Britney Spears
Collaborative Call to Action
While the allure of such stories is undeniable, it is essential to approach them with a critical eye. By fostering awareness in both genders and promoting media literacy, society can enjoy these narratives *without perpetuating harmful ideals. Parents should monitor media consumption and their children’s activities. Young influencers should be asked to distinguish between entertainment and reality and think about the consequences of the behaviors they see in the media.
Novelist Tasha Coryell writes,” We live in a culture where bad boys are idolized. Instead of solely critiquing the women who become trapped in their web, maybe we should think more about the things that push them there to begin with and who benefits from it. Why should men be good when they can be bad, and women will love them for it?”
Lalarukh Michael is a story writer and English Lecturer. She works as the Head of Department of English Department at Roots International. Her interests include art, history, literature, music, and movies.
Photo credits: Microsoft Copilot
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